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Iron Therapy

What is it about humans that causes us to have a love-hate relationship with pain? We seek it. For those of us who've experienced it, we have Stockholm Syndrome and often yearn for it. As if it's become a part of us. We are self destructive. We do drugs, drink toxins, eat carcinogens, stay up too late, get up too early, and turn child's electrolyte drinks into hangover cures. We want to know what it's like to "be without", when most of live "with". Maybe it's our desire to embrace primitive instincts at a subconscious level. At one point in our primal history we had to suffer, to fight, to endure, and to survive in order to make it another day. Perhaps there is an innate drive deep within us that seeks to recreate those physical and mental effects.

However, not all pain is derived from negative situations. Some of the most satisfying and growth provoking activities boast their single most important byproduct as pain. For some its a grueling 10 mile run. The endorphin's. The monotony. The consistency. The scenery. The solace. For some people, running is their escape. Although it creates considerable pain in the legs and a burn like no other in the chest, it is pain some truly enjoy. And they can't live without it. For others it is swimming, or biking, or risk taking, or conquering fears, tackling anxieties, breaking comfort zones. Maybe a mix of physical and mental pains.

For years I've been trying to write about, or at a deeper level, come to terms with, my relationship with my own escape. My pain inducing addiction. And I think I'm finally ready to do it.
My Iron Therapy.

For the last 6 years, all I've known is pain. Physical mostly. And this is not a complaint but rather a fact. I've developed a relationship with it that is hard to explain. It's not a pain I chose, nor one I can deny. It just is. It remains. And I want to defeat it. So I use weightlifting and bodybuilding to do just that. When I step into the gym I clear my head. I use my pain to induce growth. Literally. And it is supremely satisfying. For brief hours during the day I can chose my pain. When to start it and when to stop it. It makes me feel in control. It's therapeutic and cathartic. The burn of an 80 pound dumbbell above you. The weight of two plates on each side of your back. The feeling of being stronger and more powerful than you were last week. These are everything. I can truly say that it has been in the gym that I've come to terms with so much of reality. So many thoughts and truths hashed out.Humbly taught by the iron, on life and on what it means to be a human. Something about being a Human Being does not sit well with well, sitting. And so we find ourselves seeking the outdoors. But we don't stop there. We seek exercise. And for many, we seek being tested. Pushed to our limits. Conquering. And then we feel at ease again.

I love movement, really of any kind. Yoga, swimming, football, soccer, running, hiking. I suppose I'm just worse than a vast majority of people at going very long periods of time before those primitive instincts kick in and tell me it's time to move again. But something about weightlifting is different. Slightly. It satisfies my innate desire to move but it accomplishes that little extra something that I seem to need. It brings me to a state so satisfying, that I contribute much of my mental focus, emotional health and physical well-being to it. And I truly feel it has to do with my own relationship with pain itself. This is the story for many a man and woman throughout our history. When you pick up the weight you know if you have this relationship described. You become the physical manifestation of your struggles. You are the body of work to show for long hours of hard work. Each ounce of muscle put on is pain you conquered. Each unit of strength you progress is absolutely due to you and you alone. It is a solo endeavor, but in it we find beauty. We find meaning. And we find each other. Those, like me, who use Iron Therapy to live a happier, healthier, and better life, who use it to come to terms with their realities, and who use it to find out who they can become by their own effort, know of each other when we meet. There is a special bond created. A silent understanding.

I'm grateful to have found an outlet in this life, whereby I can healthily bring myself to a state of strength and peace. My father cultivated it in me. And it's become a part of who I am. Now I share it with my best friends in the world. My brothers. And strangers whom I've never met. And that to me, is part of what it means to be a Human Being.

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