Change; despite its potential for newness and happiness, travels with a reliable companion - complication. And as life complicates, so does the change. We came back to this idea of change, in example after example, over the course of months, and my good friend kept repeating one thing each time: "It's growing pains man," he kept saying.
Expressively stated and accurately coined, I believe Growing Pains is the name of this era. From about 18 into our mid to late 20's we experience so much change. And life has a way of making us feel like King Midas, as we rise to our potential and see achievement manifest. But in this specific era of life, as changes pile up, there exists a reliable dichotomy. The new is replacing the old. A new job requires you leave the old city. A new schedule means it's different than your old one. A new life means a departure from the old.
I'm reminded of what my credo, the Desiderata, so matter of factly states, "gracefully surrender the things of youth." Youth; being anything before today. But this can be incredibly difficult. We must experience change in order to see growth. And we know this. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
The questions I feel most important to ask are these: "How much should we hold onto the past as we grow into the future? Why is the future of such high importance for young people? And when it comes to growth, how much pain, is too much pain?
This change, and the pain associated with it, are natural. They're a part of life. But despite being able to reassure ourselves of this fact, the present can still sting. As your friends and roommates move away, you remind yourself that it's not goodbye, but see you later. But that doesn't change the fact that you will greet yourself at the door that evening, to an empty apartment with the lights off. As you accept a job in a different state from your parents and family, you remind yourself that you'll see them this Thanksgiving and Mom is only a call away. But that doesn't change the fact that the room back home is a guest room now, and Mom isn't getting any younger. We break ties with girlfriends and boyfriends so they don't influence our career paths and choices, telling ourselves that we have to do what's in our best interest. But that doesn't remove the risk we take of choosing 9-5 rather than now-95.
It sounds pessimistic, or nihilistic, or some kind of istic that's not optimistic. But that's not true. It's realistic. And reality can be tough to deal with. We shouldn't ignore that or downplay it. It's all part of the human experience.
With a big change can come new friends, new experiences, a better job, finding love, and the overall betterment of your situation. The glass can be half full. Our attitude is important to our success and our mental state. We know all that. We're told all that. What we don't know is how damn difficult it can be during that transition and what we're not told is how long and hard we should think about what we're truly leaving behind in this change.
Life, in all its complexity, with its varied duration, difficulty, and outcome, is just a series of decisions. And every decision has an opportunity cost - a metaphorical or real pain. But our hope is that if we make the right decision, we'll experience growth. And over time, we'll make more good decisions than bad ones -- resulting in a successful life as it pertains to us. We'll experience betterment, newness, and improvement. This is what we strive to attain, but the truth is, we experience just as much growth from the pain itself. We're taught that growth comes from changing our circumstances for the better. But that's only half the story. From the "pain" of each decision, we will grow just as much, mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
This concept is as old as life itself. For millions of years, evolution has predicated itself on a dynamic environment - constant change. The course of the individual, the population, and history as a whole is dependent on decisions, many of which are painful. I think it's important to stop and think about the relationship between growth, change, pain, and the human experience. It's important to recognize the Growing Pains.
Expressively stated and accurately coined, I believe Growing Pains is the name of this era. From about 18 into our mid to late 20's we experience so much change. And life has a way of making us feel like King Midas, as we rise to our potential and see achievement manifest. But in this specific era of life, as changes pile up, there exists a reliable dichotomy. The new is replacing the old. A new job requires you leave the old city. A new schedule means it's different than your old one. A new life means a departure from the old.
I'm reminded of what my credo, the Desiderata, so matter of factly states, "gracefully surrender the things of youth." Youth; being anything before today. But this can be incredibly difficult. We must experience change in order to see growth. And we know this. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
The questions I feel most important to ask are these: "How much should we hold onto the past as we grow into the future? Why is the future of such high importance for young people? And when it comes to growth, how much pain, is too much pain?
This change, and the pain associated with it, are natural. They're a part of life. But despite being able to reassure ourselves of this fact, the present can still sting. As your friends and roommates move away, you remind yourself that it's not goodbye, but see you later. But that doesn't change the fact that you will greet yourself at the door that evening, to an empty apartment with the lights off. As you accept a job in a different state from your parents and family, you remind yourself that you'll see them this Thanksgiving and Mom is only a call away. But that doesn't change the fact that the room back home is a guest room now, and Mom isn't getting any younger. We break ties with girlfriends and boyfriends so they don't influence our career paths and choices, telling ourselves that we have to do what's in our best interest. But that doesn't remove the risk we take of choosing 9-5 rather than now-95.
It sounds pessimistic, or nihilistic, or some kind of istic that's not optimistic. But that's not true. It's realistic. And reality can be tough to deal with. We shouldn't ignore that or downplay it. It's all part of the human experience.
With a big change can come new friends, new experiences, a better job, finding love, and the overall betterment of your situation. The glass can be half full. Our attitude is important to our success and our mental state. We know all that. We're told all that. What we don't know is how damn difficult it can be during that transition and what we're not told is how long and hard we should think about what we're truly leaving behind in this change.
Life, in all its complexity, with its varied duration, difficulty, and outcome, is just a series of decisions. And every decision has an opportunity cost - a metaphorical or real pain. But our hope is that if we make the right decision, we'll experience growth. And over time, we'll make more good decisions than bad ones -- resulting in a successful life as it pertains to us. We'll experience betterment, newness, and improvement. This is what we strive to attain, but the truth is, we experience just as much growth from the pain itself. We're taught that growth comes from changing our circumstances for the better. But that's only half the story. From the "pain" of each decision, we will grow just as much, mentally, spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
This concept is as old as life itself. For millions of years, evolution has predicated itself on a dynamic environment - constant change. The course of the individual, the population, and history as a whole is dependent on decisions, many of which are painful. I think it's important to stop and think about the relationship between growth, change, pain, and the human experience. It's important to recognize the Growing Pains.
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