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On Fate and Stoicism

I read a quote today from Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and philosopher. He's considered one of the key thinkers with regards to stoicism and one of the Five Good Emperors, coined by Machiavelli. The quote said, "Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." It inspired me to think about fate, and upon reading his biography and his thoughts on stoicism, I feel I've refreshed my perspective on fate and my understanding of the quote. 

Marcus Aurelius's emperor-ship was marked by war as were many before and after his. Nearing the end of the roman empire, his wars were wars of defense rather than wars of expansion. During the years 170 -180 AD he wrote Meditations. As the story goes, he wrote these notes as notes to himself along the trail of war, separated into 12 distinct books reflecting his own thoughts and advice on life, through the lens of stoicism.

Stoicism is a philosophy that focuses on ethics and virtue as the clear aim for humans. It emphasizes the rejection or at least the resistance to succumb to material possessions, desires and pleasures. It places high value on accepting the present moment for what it is, working to understand your mind, trying to rationalize the natural world, and treating others fairly with kindness. In reference to Stoicism, Epictetus analogized wood as the subject matter of a carpenter to the art of living as the subject matter to a human. Aurelius spoke about using logic and reason to see individual objects, people and events as singular, analyzing them for their characteristics and marking them in your mind. Then, using a framework of virtue and ethic, determining a response and path forward, pushing aside the impulse to include desire and emotion in that response or path forward. In other words, objectivity and logic, with regard to virtue and circumstance, are the best framework for living.  

Applying this idea of objectivity to the word Fate removes the mysticism from the typical association with the word. The first Webster definition that is listed with the word Fate is, "the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do." But this definition has too little logic and objectivity and too much inference. If we use the second definition of Fate, we arrive at the definition that Stoicism would agree with, "the circumstances that befall someone or something." Plain and concise. Matter of fact. Stoic.

When we apply a lens of stoicism to the quote by Aurelius we get the following: "Accept the things that befall you, and love the people with whom these circumstances brings you in contact with, but do so with all your heart." What does it mean to accept things that befall you? I think it's actually an incomplete question, because it neglects the implications of a verb like 'accept'. To properly answer it I think back to the copper placard that hung in my room for a decade, made and earned by my grandfather in Alcoholics Anonymous. On it wrote, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Serenity, in this case means peace, really, peace of mind. To me, accepting things that befall you is to come to terms, to be at peace with, the things that happen in life, then to change what you are truly able to, in order to better your life. This is what I think Marcus Aurelius meant with his quote. Do not make excuses for your life nor be the victim. Accept the things that are out of your control, like your biology or your birth circumstances. Accept these things and move forward with what you can affect and impact. But, in so doing, love the people that those circumstances, good or bad, have brought you into contact with, for it's all you have. And do not do so half heartily, as a framework for life, either do it or don't.

This quote packs a real punch. In a single line it reminds us that life can be cruel and unusual as much as it can be beautiful and awe inspiring. Whatever it is, it is and you must accept the hand you're dealt in order to move forward. It also reminds us that we should savor the people in our lives, that are in our lives simply as a result of those circumstances. And finally it reminds us that we should love with intention and as a larger concept, do things with intention, as to not live passively. 


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