My 50th Post

I wrote my first post, January 16th, 2018. It was my 2018 New Year's Resolution to start writing a blog. Looking back on that time, I sourced a lot of inspiration from my roommates, particularly Zach who had been quietly and consistently compiling a catalogue of clothing designs (see that alliteration?). He'd been doing it for years in relative solitude and without recognition. Occasionally he'd call us into his room and ask for our opinions. We'd stumble into the dimly lit room at 11:30 PM after a few, to a small lit desk where he'd have a computer program open and a T shirt design presented. It was a genuine creative outlet and it was inspiring to me. Not sure I've ever told him that. That apartment at West 20, and the time we spent together, were pivotal elements in my life. 2018 was our senior year. It was a time of transition. The conversations we had during that time were magical. Never had I engaged in intellectual stimulation like I did then. We had consistency and friendship and enjoyment and that environment cultivated depth.

The reason I chose a blog for my attempt at a creative outlet was that I realized I'd been writing for some time already. My phone notes were full of poems, half written essays, recorded voice memos, documentation of trips I'd taken and single words or phrases. I realized I was engaged in the process of writing, I just never took the leap and fully immersed myself in it.

Lately I've been thinking about this "process of writing". I don't know how everyone else does it but here's how it happens with me. Often times I will think of a word, for example, Pendulum. I'll quickly go into blogger and title a blog post "The Pendulum". Then, I'll leave it for 2-3 months. Some random Tuesday, a phrase may come to me while I'm driving or reading or running. I add the phrase and leave it for another 2 months. Then one day I wake up and I have the whole essay at my fingertips. And I write it. Maybe leave it for a week or two to edit and then finish it up when I'm ready.

The same thing happens with poems. 1.5 years ago I wrote in my phone, "I went north and I found south," a phrase that came to me one evening when I was thinking about going to Detroit and Seattle and Canada only to understand that I loved the South. 1.5 years later I added, "I went West and found myself," which is in reference to my 5 trips out west to vacation and think (2 to LA, 2 to Arizona and 1 to Utah/Nevada). And then the other morning I sat down at my computer and the rest of the poem came to me.This morning on the way to work I thought of the word, Restraint, because of the breakup I've recently been through. I titled the blog post, Restraint. I'm sure I'll finish it eventually when I receive more. The key here is that I receive phrases and words, almost as flashes or footnotes or messages into my brain. I don't go actively searching for them. It's odd. Jordan Peterson has talked about this.

My most viewed post, "Project Colonless" was viewed 1,940 times. The inspiration for this again came my roommates. One day we were brain storming ideas in the kitchen. We talked about, "if we could do one thing, what would it be?" And Project Colonless came to me, if you haven't read it, go read it. Through this endeavor I raised $5,000 for the Crohns and Colitis Foundation and later did a Savage Race with my friend Mike with custom T Shirts. Zach designed the logo. It was a group effort, as some of the best things in life usually are.

Since I've been writing I've taken three hiatuses in three years. The first was from July 7th, 2018 to January 2nd, 2019. 5 months. In August 2018 I decided I'd have surgery. In September 2018 I had the surgery. And from September to January I was in a deep darkness. The second break was January 2nd, 2019 to September 29th 2019. 8 months. This was the entire length of time I moved to and lived in Detroit. This time in my life was busy. I traveled almost every weekend. New York. Atlanta. Colombia. Austin. Charlotte. Canada. I lived a lot of life in those 6 months. It was the first time I lived truly far away from my family. I lived rather than wrote. I remember writing "Uncommon Among Uncommon Men" the day I learned some terrible news upon moving to Seattle. The last long hiatus I took was May 6th, 2020 to October 26th, 2020. 5 months. That hiatus began with my move from Charlotte to Winston Salem and it ended when I met Taylor. It was another time where I lived rather than wrote. I spent 5 months running, lifting, reading, playing chess, and working like crazy. When I met Taylor, a spark of creativity struck again that caused me to slow down and reflect. That spark is still around now, months later, even after we've ended our relationship. I'm now trialing, living and writing at the same time.

This post marks my 50th published post. That's roughly one every three weeks for 3 years. I'm proud of this achievement. It was never my goal to reach 50 or 100 or even 1000, but here we are. I've written about writing so I won't be redundant with it now, but simply put, it is my creative outlet. It's a way that I can settle old thoughts. It's a way that I can sort out new thoughts. It's a way to remember and express or forget and proceed. Here's to another 50.