A Statement of Reflection

I do not believe my life to be exceptional or abnormal. Conscious life itself is incomprehensibly rare. In this way, any life led is abnormal and any path taken, exceptional. I do believe that which has separated me the most, given me the slightest fraction of divergence from my peers, are the following behaviors and characteristics: my tendency to be hyper-reflective, even to a fault, hyper-introspective, even given the consequences, and prolific with the recording of memories and thoughts in written form, during extensive durations of experience and maturity.

Comments

Just what is out there?

Just what is out there? Indeed, when we look up at the night sky we observe and are captivated by the distant specks of light that scatter the dark canvas. But what else is out there? And what even is "out there"? I talk of this natural progression of curiosity. The way our brains discover and ask, discover and ask again, and the cycle continues. We aren't satisfied. It seems the universe has an equal incline. Every time we think we've figured something out, about the going-on's of the cosmos, a new event or strange arrangement of matter appear within our reach, almost as if to say, "are you sure, you've got me pinned?" This is why I fell in love with astronomy, cosmology, and quantum physics. It is everything. It is nothing. One could spend a lifetime studying a singular conundrum such as a quasar, and die mostly ignorant. How daunting a task, and how beautiful. This essay is a dissemination of my thoughts on the subject of the cosmos. A humble ap...

26 Years

When I was a child I can remember wishing I was older. It would seem, through the litany of anecdotal evidence, that this is an innate aspect of youth and naivety - yearning for and pedestaling the days when you can drive, then when you can drink, then when you have your own place. And then, such is life, it all happens. And like the cliché goes, you long for the days when you were young - when responsibility was absent, when the hours were simpler, and even perhaps when you knew less. Ignorance really was bliss, and it marked the days of youth. The profundity of this pendulum mindscape is of great interest to me. Frankly it's odd and worth thinking about. It would seem it serves no purpose biologically. Our dopamine systems are predicated on forward progress, yet, for most of us, at some point, we desire the past, which would appear to be the antithesis of progression. I've understood at least part of this in the last few years. We don't always want what we can't yet h...

30 Years

Today is my 30th birthday. People have been asking me how does it feel to be 30? For young people, that's old. For old people, that's young. So which is it? And how should I feel to be 30? Like with most things, life is a mixed bag. And I feel the passage of time in a myriad of ways. Physically, the years have indeed taken their toll. I have a tear in my right shoulder, an injury to my left peck, a partially torn quad. I have a cancer wound on my forehead, six scars on my abdomen, and some arthritic joints. These are the results of a life of intense exercise and unrelenting chronic illness. And yet, I set a personal record in a 10k race just two weeks ago and surpassed multiple strength goals this last year. Mentally, I feel the growing exhaustion from 8 years of advanced programs in high school and college, and another 8 years working tirelessly in my career. In the evenings, my mind is fatigued. And yet, I am performing the best I ever have in many aspects of my life. I ca...

Everything Under the Sun

Search This Blog