A Statement of Reflection

I do not believe my life to be exceptional or abnormal. Conscious life itself is incomprehensibly rare. In this way, any life led is abnormal and any path taken, exceptional. I do believe that which has separated me the most, given me the slightest fraction of divergence from my peers, are the following behaviors and characteristics: my tendency to be hyper-reflective, even to a fault, hyper-introspective, even given the consequences, and prolific with the recording of memories and thoughts in written form, during extensive durations of experience and maturity.

Comments

To 2024

To 2024 *5:13 pm, Friday, December 20th, 2024* I'm still staring at my monitor, which is by far the brightest object in the surrounding area, as the sun has now set. I can see the whole city from my window, illuminated against the darkening sky. Admittedly, I take this view for granted sometimes, I know it's better than most. I haven't left my house in 3 days, desperately trying to close out items and stay above water with lengthy to-do lists, both work and personal. Frankly, this is not an unusual night in the last few months, but the last few days have been a scramble, as I attempt to step away from work over the coming holiday weeks. In years past, by this time in December I'm already in Florida for Christmas. But this year is different. When I think about 2024 relative to years past, the word "busier" comes to mind. If I check with the 'weekend tracker' I've maintained for 5 years, the records would concur. I was busier. But where did my time...

Divine Synergy: The Literal and Metaphorical Meaning of 3.14

The mathematical constant Pi has long been the subject of inquiry and fascination, since the days of ancient Egypt and Babylonia because of it's unique properties. Pi, usually written shorthand as 3.14, represents the ratio of a circle's circumference to it's diameter. Said differently, the distance around a circle is 3.14 x the length across it. That seems insignificant until one learns Pi is actually an irrational number with a never ending sequence of integers, 3.14159.... The decimal representation never ends, nor is it permanently repeating like how 1/3 is 0.33333. It is infinite. From a scientific perspective, this is of course intriguing, but from a philosophical or theological perspective this is affirming. A circle is used in many cultures to represent the infinite. Think of the Buddhist Wheel or the Zen Buddhist symbol Enso. Think of the Taoist Yin Yang. The Hindu representation of Samsara. The Celtic Cross. What is the message of Pi? Read literally: The distance...

A Number, A Symbol

The Number For years, I was plagued by, or gifted with a number. How did the number get to me, and why? What did it mean? For the better part of 2 years I saw 3:14 everywhere. I happened to check my phone or watch almost daily at 3:14. I'd see it in passing on a sign or TV. On a few special occasions I even awoke at 3:14 AM and turned to see it on my clock. You could ask some of my friends and old girlfriends, I started to screenshot it after a while. I was taking pictures of it. Remembering every occasion. It had gotten past the point of coincidence. There were essentially two explanations for it. One in the realm of psychology and one in the realm of spirituality. Psychologically, it could have been Viewer's Bias. I could have started subconsciously checking my phone or watch every day around 3:14 to try and maximize my chances of seeing it, so to give credence to that idea and create a feedback loop. If I was doing that I certainly wasn't doing it consciously. Then ther...

Everything Under the Sun

Search This Blog