To 2021

At the end of each of the last 3 years, I've sat alone, in the isolation of my temporary domicile, trying to extrapolate learnings and themes from the previous 365 days - searching for some parcel of wisdom nestled among the many weeks of complexity and dynamism that formed the year. Then, I'd write a yearly reflection, To 2018, To 2019, To 2020. This year, the search was laborious, but after hours of contemplation, 2021 did not fail to provide plentiful bounty. 2021 was a year of much growth for me. In many ways, this year was the culmination of a decade of hard work and focus. As a result, I feel, for the first time in my adult life, that my domicile is no longer temporary. I feel, after many years of determination and toil, that my life is harmonizing with my vision. And I feel, despite the litany of flaws I've either yet to improve upon or yet to discover, that the current version of myself is one I can hang my hat on.

As I look to 2021, much has happened this year. I began the year in a relationship, city, and job, all of which are different from those I end the year with, an ode to the dynamism I spoke of earlier. Similarly, as I look to the world, I posit a state of change not seen in a century. This growing complexity of life requires a level of engagement of equivalent magnitude. So, to give effort to the difficult task of succinctness with which I opened this essay, and to align my thematic learning with this issue of complexity and magnitude, my takeaway from 2021 would be: Sapere aude et temet nosce. Dare to know, and know thyself. Dare to know the external world and the internal world. Dare to ask questions, seek knowledge, and pursue truth. Strive to understand why you act, why you succeed and why you fail. And the result should be beneficial to you and everyone else.

In the course of one's life, there is no task greater, no responsibility more crucial, no duty more pressing and rewarding, than the cultivation of wisdom. In this miracle of sentience we find ourselves thrust into each morning, it is of the utmost importance that we recognize our bond of immanence and do justice to this duty. In the last 12 months, I've found enormous meaning in this pursuit - the pursuit of wisdom, of truth. The pursuit of awareness of my capability and my capacity for error. The pursuit of critical thinking, of challenge. The pursuit of deep love. This pursuit is the metaphorical well that never runs dry (Isiah 58:11). It is the Socratic Paradox. It's idiomatic; the gift that keeps on giving. 

I think Winston Churchill more accurately summarized my rambling soliloquy, in 1941, "The destiny of man is not measured by material computation. When great forces are on the move in the world, we learn we are spirits, not animals. There is something going on in time and space, and beyond time and space, which, whether we like it or not, spells duty."

I've been made aware of the importance of this canonical pursuit during the last year. The omnipresent attack on the way of life I grew up with, including the purported malignancy that my skin color and sex harbor, have forced me to the pursuit of truth and wisdom. The lockdowns, the elimination of choice, and the muddling of objectivity with reference to the Covid Pandemic, have cast me into a sea of ambiguity, where I find a lifeboat in this pursuit. The ever changing landscape of my social environment, the rewriting of history, the rejection of biological reality, the dilution of language, and the extreme shift towards emotion, resentment and division have concretized this pursuit as crucial and salvaging. 

Of all the challenges stated above, none exemplify the product of this pursuit more than my recent experience with love. Over the last few months, I've engaged in difficult conversations with someone I've grown to love. Because we share the desire for a successful relationship and the mutual goal of deep connection, bumps in the road have remained just that. But as an addition, due to the increasing complexity of life and the challenges stated above, that road isn't simply bumpy, but also uphill, with blind corners and an unknown length. Despite all that, I can truthfully say that I've never felt more confident about my ability to navigate such terrain or about the possibility of success that she and I have. Many years pursuing wisdom, many years of improvement, many years of introspection and contemplation, and many years of envisioning the life I want, have prepared me for a moment like this. Credit should be given where credit is due, she is an exceptional individual with a deep capacity for love and a mind that contains rationality, compromise and empathy. On her end, she is ready to tackle difficulty, determined to find success. Her character is rock solid. On my end, I find confidence in preparation - a preparation which has pays dividends. I'm certain that if not for this pursuit, I wouldn't get to experience the happiness and love currently in abundance. 

Contrasting the dynamism I spoke of earlier, some things don't change, and 2022 will see much of the same. The last 3 years have been a push to get stronger, faster, smarter, wealthier, wiser and 2022 won't be any different. The name of the game for me in 2022 is optimization. I know what I need to do. I know my vision. This coming year will be about how do I optimize my time, my money, and my attention to get closer to that vision. It'll be about kicking bad habits and developing good ones. Working, exercising, traveling, learning, these are the cornerstones of years past and years to come. Lucky for me, I'll add a 5th cornerstone this year - loving. As with years past, I anticipate much will not go according to plan, and adaptability will be key. 

As the year comes to a close, I see 2021 as highly successful and quite possibly the best year of my adult life. Much of that is a product of my own effort as I alluded to in the opening, but another large portion is simply fortune. I've been fortunate beyond comprehension. The novelty of relatively stable health that I now have, is one of the greatest blessings I could have asked for. I feel overwhelming gratitude for a stable, healthy family. For healthy, deep friendships. For the serendipity of October 1st. For a career path that will provide me with means. For a healthy mind. And I find that this gratitude is energizing and irreplaceable. 

Most years, I leave off my reflection with a quote from the Desiderata. Merging the themes of consistency and dynamism I'll do the same this year, but choose a new quote, paying tribute to Sapere aude et temet nosce. 

"And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul."