Who are you? Who am I? | Week 2

January | Wisdom | Week 2 | 1/13/2023
Individuals: Who are the most important figures in your life?

When I was in 5th grade, we had an assignment, called the Tropicana Speech (appropriately Florida- named). It was a simple assignment; write a speech and present it to the class. Some kids told a funny story about their dog, others chose to talk about a place they love to go with their friends. I wrote a speech on why Ronald Reagan was the greatest president. At the tender age of 11 I'd decided he was an important figure. I'd read a book on his presidency. I'd seen highlights of his greatest speeches. Probably influenced by my father, I held Reagan in high regard - here was someone masculine, articulate, strong, and influential. He "won" the Cold War. He'd been a movie star, a governor and the President. He appeared kind, witty, patriotic and he possessed a strength of spirit that was palpable in his words. Something about this cocktail of attributes, accomplishments and relevance drew me in and inspired me. 

I think it is and always has been a key mission for a young man or women to find important figures in their lives. Most people, when queried, would probably list their mother or father as the most important influence in their lives. And that's great. Many mothers are saints and many fathers are admirable. I would undoubtedly list my parents as Top 5 most important figures in my life. They were the example of work ethic. They're well-rounded and taught us about balance and leading a good life. Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that a conversation with my parents is an interesting one. 

I also found wisdom in other male figures; a coach, a teacher and an author. Coach Shawn was the first person, that I genuinely loved and hated simultaneously. He was known as The Stroke Doctor, because when it came to swimming, he was an absolute self-taught wizard. Out of him came multiple state champions and Olympians. He exposed the weak, excuse-making, deplorable version of myself that tried to get out of hard work. He saw potential in me and he wasn't afraid of being hated if it meant he could draw it out of me. And that he did. In the year I swam for him I went through an incredible metamorphosis, from a boy to a man, from a kid who swam 2 months out of the year to one of the top swimmers in the state of Florida. It was a time that I still look back on 12 years later with awe. I had purpose during that time - grow, compete, get better, become great. It was then that I truly learned physical discipline. 

I seem to be drawn to a certain type of male figure who inspires me but yet someone whom I contend with. During the same time I spoke of with Coach Shawn, I had a European History teacher by the name of Mr. Dailey. He was an alpha male - smart, articulate, handsome, ambitious, and athletic. His class was notoriously hard at our school, an essay-based class with heavy memorization and analysis. Everyone knew who had come out of that class in previous years as the best. And I wanted to be the best. He and I would openly disagree on economic and political issues. I was a know-it-all and looking back, frankly I was arrogant. But he must've seen something in me that was redeemable, something he could foster. Our relationship flourished. He put me up for numerous awards, he recommended me for leadership conferences, and 2 years later, he wrote an incredibly thoughtful, over-the top, recommendation letter for my college admission to The University of Florida. To this day, I still see him at the gym occasionally when I go home to Jacksonville. Every time we see each other, even for a 5 minute conversation, I leave feeling grateful and refreshed. 

After years of success physically and academically I was due for a setback, and boy did I get one. My health degraded quite rapidly after the 2 years described above with Coach Shawn and Mr. Daily. It was during this next era of my life, which compounded in difficulty with each passing year, that I discovered the wisdom and tutelage of the final important figure I want to mention - Dr. Jordan Peterson. Although not-in-person, here was another man, articulate, intelligent, handsome, masculine, who's message was not one of praise or comfort but rather of harsh criticism and stern call-to-action. It was hundreds of hours of lecture videos and reading his books that stewarded me from the uncertain young man, trekking the ambiguity of his early 20's, to the confident adult, dominating his mid to late 20's. His message: stand up with your shoulders back, develop a relationship with something profound, bare your cross, take on the onslaught, and voluntarily become a physical and intellectual monster with self-control and discipline. His wisdom is a grounding force for me, containing extraordinary levels of profundity and motivation that I return to constantly. 

I must thank these three men, one deceased, one moved on, and one I will never meet, for their contributions to my lives. Together with my father, these men taught me what it means to be a man; charitable, strong, articulate, capable, wise.