Who are you? Who am I? | Week 7

February | Early Years | Week 7 | 2/19/2023
Talk about your teenage years - middle school

The dissolution of naivety directly parallels the onset of hormonal metamorphosis. This occurs chronologically perpendicular to the exodus of elementary school. Youth fades, and the world before us undergoes a transmutation at the levels of perception, comprehension, and conceptualization. The vocabulary with which to articulate that new world is developed. And growth is in abundance, both proverbially and literally.  

I believe the full obtainment of consciousness is stepwise. With enough introspection, we can pinpoint phasic and tonic locales along the path. For me, and for many others, one obvious leap in consciousness occurred during middle school. Thinking back to that time, it's as if parts of my consciousness became accessible to me rather suddenly. It's as if color was promptly injected into a black and white reality. A simple interaction between myself and another male, which in the past might have had a light hue of rivalry, became deeply stained with competition and existed inside a newly-minted, potentially hostile domain. A simple interaction between myself and a female, which previously was buoyant and blithe, became abruptly trepidacious and suspectedly formulaic. Reality gained a layer of depth and complexity - a thicker, more viscous medium of existence unveiled - as if I were pulled instantaneously by the weight of gravity, from crust to mantle. 

TLDR: A lot changes quickly in Middle School.

My middle school experience was everything one might expect. I met kids from other parts of town, who went to other elementary schools, from other socioeconomic domains. I treaded carefully around kids who's pubescent slope was steeper than mine. I embarked on a cognitive and physical exploration with relation to females, distinguished by careful observation, learning pattern recognition, and plenty of trial and error. I extended a now-longer, lankier arm into the cauldron of competition, attempting to earn a seat at the table at minimum, and obtain an alpha position at maximum. I played sports and attended FCA. I stayed out late riding bikes and TP'ing houses. I attended platonic birthday parties in the daytime and sent egregious text messages at night. Juxtaposition was emergent, bound to the nature of the era, and experiential en masse. I tested out new archetypes and played with who I could become - the mysterious shadow, the untamed beast, the white knight, the nerd, the musician, the athlete, the punk. It was necessary to embody each and to flow with mimetic desire. It was a supernova of neuroplasticity, brilliant en concluso. 

Middle School was everything it needed to be for me. It was a transitory period, a holding pattern, while I fleshed out my character and calibrated my intrinsic barometer. It was a saga - marked by exaltation and melancholia, a pleasant purgatory. It was a firm handshake welcoming me at the door of my teenage years. A lesson in "gracefully surrendering the things of youth." An epoch that I'm fortunate to have passed through, unscathed and in-tact. A little bit wiser and a lot taller.