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30 Years

Today is my 30th birthday. People have been asking me how does it feel to be 30? For young people, that's old. For old people, that's young. So which is it? And how should I feel to be 30? Like with most things, life is a mixed bag. And I feel the passage of time in a myriad of ways.  Physically, the years have indeed taken their toll. I have a tear in my right shoulder, an injury to my left peck, a partially torn quad. I have a cancer wound on my forehead, six scars on my abdomen, and some arthritic joints. These are the results of a life of intense exercise and unrelenting chronic illness. And yet, I set a personal record in a 10k race just two weeks ago and surpassed multiple strength goals this last year.  Mentally, I feel the growing exhaustion from 8 years of advanced programs in high school and college, and another 8 years working tirelessly in my career. In the evenings, my mind is fatigued. And yet, I am performing the best I ever have in many aspects of my life. I ca...
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To 2024

To 2024  *5:13 pm, Friday, December 20th, 2024* I'm still staring at my monitor, which is by far the brightest object in the surrounding area, as the sun has now set. I can see the whole city from my window, illuminated against the darkening sky. Admittedly, I take this view for granted sometimes, I know it's better than most. I haven't left my house in 3 days, desperately trying to close out items and stay above water with lengthy to-do lists, both work and personal. Frankly, this is not an unusual night in the last few months, but the last few days have been a scramble, as I attempt to step away from work over the coming holiday weeks. In years past, by this time in December I'm already in Florida for Christmas. But this year is different.  When I think about 2024 relative to years past, the word "busier" comes to mind. If I check with the 'weekend tracker' I've maintained for 5 years, the records would concur. I was busier. But where did my time...

Divine Synergy: The Literal and Metaphorical Meaning of 3.14

The mathematical constant Pi has long been the subject of inquiry and fascination, since the days of ancient Egypt and Babylonia because of it's unique properties. Pi, usually written shorthand as 3.14, represents the ratio of a circle's circumference to it's diameter. Said differently, the distance around a circle is 3.14 x the length across it. That seems insignificant until one learns Pi is actually an irrational number with a never ending sequence of integers, 3.14159.... The decimal representation never ends, nor is it permanently repeating like how 1/3 is 0.33333. It is infinite.  From a scientific perspective, this is of course intriguing, but from a philosophical or theological perspective this is affirming. A circle is used in many cultures to represent the infinite. Think of the Buddhist Wheel or the Zen Buddhist symbol Enso. Think of the Taoist Yin Yang. The Hindu representation of Samsara. The Celtic Cross. What is the message of Pi? Read literally: The distance...

The 21st Century Philosopher's Stone

For millennia, humans have sought to obtain the coveted Philosopher's Stone. The discovery of such a technology would mean limitless wealth and knowledge. Alchemy touted the Philosopher's Stone as capable of transmuting materials into precious stones like gold and silver, presumably for the monetary benefits it could derive. But the search for the Philosopher's Stone was much deeper than that. It was thought to be capable of creating the Elixir of Life, generating physical and mental rejuvenation. This reveals to us that the ultimate riches are universal, non-tangible commodities - the limitless quantity of time, perpetual youth and beauty, and endless knowledge. Ultimately the Philosopher's Stone grants its owner an object of desire as old as humanity itself - eternal life, divine creation, and the answers to the universe. It would make Man into God.  Man has labored over the search for these omnipotent qualities since the dawn of civilization. For some, that search li...

To 2023

I recently learned about the Clock of the Long Now, a 10,000 year clock built by the Long Now Foundation and funded by Jeff Bezos Expeditions. Operation began on New Years Eve 1999, to kick off the new millennium, the year 2000, and will keep time until the year 12,000 AD. The idea of a clock like this is to invoke a sense of Deep Time to the observer - the time scale that we use for distinguishing geologic epochs. The clock chimes once a year, a day is equivalent to a minute. In theory, an object such as this should inspire the contemplation of generational impact and the consideration of centuries in decision making, not days and weeks. This resonates with me today as I write another To-A-Year essay. 6 years doesn't seem very long (yet) but since I began writing down my thoughts and experiences, about life and the world, I have found myself considering the impact of that writing on a later version of me, even on my progeny. And 6 years later, the To-A-Year essay remains one of m...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 52

December | Meaning of Life  |   Week 52  | 12/31/2023 What is the meaning of life? Part 5    Recently I discovered Shakespeare's Sonnet 29, which tells of a common male experience: the experience of self loathing, of resentment, disappointment, and envy, catalyzed by an avarice for all that life has to offer. The Sonnet showcases the agony of that all too common situation but details with beautiful literacy, the single, shining antidote - Love. For me, love, truth and wisdom are beacons of light in a dark cosmic background. They form a strong base for meaning in my life, and I feel fortunate to have become satiated in their pursuit.  When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,  I all alone beweep my outcast state, And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,  And look upon myself and curse my fate, Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, Featured like him, like him with friends possessed, Desiring this man's art and that man's scope, ...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 51

December | Meaning of Life  |   Week 51  | 12/24/2023 What is the meaning of life? Part 4    Of all the arguments I've found most convincing to answer this question, the work of Dr. John Vervaeke on the Meaning Crisis has been the most impactful. Vervaeke talks about 'meaning in life' vs 'meaning of life. His approach follows the learnings we've gained from cognitive science, about what makes people feel as if their life has meaning - therefore yielding meaning in life. One can observe children (or adults) engaging with video games and detaching from society. Why? What does a good video game offer? 4 things, he argues; [1] Purpose, [2] Coherence, [3] Self Transcendence, and [4] Flow State. If regular life was capable of delivering these, then people would rather spend their time in that context than in the video game. Starting with purpose, the obvious purpose of the game is to beat the game, to complete all the quests, collect all the gold, etc. Moving to coher...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 50

December | Meaning of Life  |   Week 50  | 12/17/2023 What is the meaning of life? Part 3 The Buddhists and the Christians both speak of a natural state for man, which maximizes life and gives us meaning. The Michelangelo Principle states that Michelangelo could look at an uncarved block of stone and see David. The Christians agree with this - that we are born an uncarved block of stone and we must discover the inner David, through discipline, adherence to rules, struggle and strife. The Buddhists believe we are David, the flawed being, suffering from the attachments to life, and that we must shed our attachments and return to the natural state - the uncarved stone. With such a difference, the Christians would purport that the meaning of life is the struggle to adhere to truth, to carve away the sin, and to live as God intended us, worshiping him and doing his will. The Buddhists would say that the meaning of life is to rid ourselves of possession and return to the nascen...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 49

December | Meaning of Life  |   Week 49  | 12/10/2023 What is the meaning of life? Part 2  Rummaging through the file cabinets in my cognitive landscape, a panoply of concepts have reference strings to this question. I find the teleology argument compelling - the idea that there is a natural telos, or pattern of meaning in the world that's capable of investigation. This aligns with religious thinking, that natural meaning is ordained and orchestrated by an external source. The idea of scientific exploration builds on this structure arguing that we  can  investigate the natural world and understand it - which in fact is implicitly religious, for there is a "goodness" or virtue to this exploration. The way I understand it, this chain of concepts runs counter to the idea of hedonism, that the meaning of the world is subjective and is to be found in the pursuit of our whims, not the exploration of the natural world, which follows some set of laws. Also contrary...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 48

December | Meaning of Life  |  Week 48  | 12/3/2023 What is the meaning of life? Part 1  Of all the questions one might ask themselves most intently and with the deepest sincerity, there is none more sobering than  "What is the meaning of life?"  This is indeed a beautiful and complicated question. 'Life' can be interpreted as the collective noun or the singular. It can refer to one's own life, or to the conscious experience of life on aggregate. It can reference the purpose of one's own existence or the reason for existence at all. Meaning can be applied to the subjective feeling one gets from an experience or the objective purpose of one's life. These 6 words, punctuated with a question mark, have occupied the minds of billions since the very first mind could be captivated by a question. I feel there is no better way to conclude this introspective journey that I've embarked on over the past year, than to ask myself the deepest, most elusive, most pro...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 47

November | Politics  |   Week 47 | 11/26/2023 2024 Election predictions Over the last year my predictions for the 2024 election have changed numerous times. Depending on my exposure to various media, my portrayal of the candidates' favorability can and will shift. Additionally, my relative cynicism or optimism on any given day will impact my predictions. All things considered, I do feel relatively confident with my current prediction: Trump vs Kamala vs RFK Jr. Kamala wins.   On the Republican side, prior to Trump announcing his candidacy, I would have predicted that DeSantis would run and likely win the nomination. His support by folks like Elon Musk and Peter Thiel, his support among Hispanics, and his sweeping victory in Florida, told me that he was likely to capture the same adoration nationally. However, once Trump announced his candidacy, it became unclear. Now, as we narrow in on 11 months until the vote, Trump has been indicted and arrested, appeared at numer...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 46

November | Politics  |   Week 46 | 11/19/2023   My views on the topics of the day We exist in a time where there is an expectation to have an opinion on every topic, regardless of one's level of understanding, research or conviction. Frequently, a CEO, celebrity or laymen is asked to give their thoughts on a complex topic, stretching hundreds or thousands of years and encapsulating a corpus of philosophical and political discourse. For much of human history, the industry men commented on matters of industry, the doctors knew medicine, the politicians discussed politics, the economists debated economics and the scientists opined on science. The occasional polymath, a DiVinci or Jefferson, would comment on multiple subjects with authority.  I am no specialist, with no doctorate degree or tremendous success in a given field. However, as an aspiring polymath, this exercise is my attempt at practicing. I've taken the 5 biggest topics in the 5 biggest areas of modern human...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 45

November | Politics  |   Week 45 | 11/12/2023   Feminism vs Masculinity: History and Political Impact Depending on which intellectual you listen to, you may have been told that the history of males and females is one of unidirectional oppression and unequivocal parasitism. Nothing could be further from the truth, but unfortunately it drives a strange political malignancy - the war between feminism and traditional masculinity.  First, a historical rebuttal. As far back as we can look, in The Old Testament, it is abundantly clear that man is lost and useless without women. In the book of Genesis, Adam is incomplete without Eve, both figuratively and literally (coming from his rib). The Bible goes on to detail this in narrative form in the Book of Exodus. The heroes of the early chapters are almost entirely women. Midwives Shiphrah and Puah, disobey the Pharaoh and save the Hebrew children. Moses's mother, Jochebed, rejects the Pharaoh's authority and saves her child's ...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 44

November | Politics  |   Week 44 | 11/05/2023   Liberalism vs Conservatism: Today and Throughout Time In recent years, much has been written about the differences between conservatism and liberalism in their origins, in their goals and in their outcomes. To briefly summarize the corpus of modern understanding, [1] Liberals tend to be more open to experience/creative while conservatives seem to be more conscientious/orderly, [2] Liberals tend more towards the traditionally feminine while conservatives the traditionally masculine, and [3] age and experience correlate to conservatism while youth and idealism correlate to liberalism, creating a two-sided blade of ossification vs adaptation and order vs chaos. In short, natural disposition and environmental circumstance (nature and nurture) greatly affect one's propensity towards liberalism or conservatism. As the Book of Exodus so aptly describes in the Concept of the Integration of the Fringe, or the Daoist's so aptly abstra...

Who are you? Who am I? | Week 43

November | Politics  |   Week 43 | 10/29/2023   Globalism vs Nationalism: The State of Modern Politics If one were asked how to summarize the current political landscape globally, one could point towards perpetual staples of political division: totalitarianism vs democracy, theocracy vs secularism, liberalism vs conservatism. Perhaps they could point towards the novelties of modernity: masculinity vs femininity, technological progress vs technological skepticism, galactic expansion vs terra isolation. In this month exploring politics, I'll touch on many of these dualities, but I want to start the month by speaking on the most relevant binary which I believe underscores the current philosophical and political struggle most accurately: Globalism vs Nationalism.  One might say that the world has been globalized for many centuries now, since the colonies of the early 1700's. I'd argue that definitionally, globalism implies a certain reciprocity, not occupation, and there...